Why do I get caught watching stuff I shouldn't?

Caught both Crimewatch, and the 10 o'clock news tonight, and it was probably a mistake.

Lots of talk of child pornography, rape, abuse, etc, etc.  Photos of young, blonde-haired little girls...  Similarities could be drawn, and it was enough to trigger.

Should be in bed, but don't want to sleep.

One good thing is that we've bought me a car this week, and we pick it up tomorrow, so I'm so happy about that!  I'm also seeing both Katherine, and Silvia tomorrow, and meeting Katherine's new(ish) baby, and then to mum's tomorrow evening to stay overnight - so lots to keep distracted!

The event at the weekend wasn't as distracting as I'd hoped.  I slunk off to bed at midnight Friday night as I just couldn't keep up the facade anymore...  thankfully, the weekend got better as it went on, but it was quiet, and people were *busy*.  I know I should have asked people to stuck around, but I don't like to burden.

Not looking forward to sleep tonight. I'm having bad dreams about him. Can't talk details as it involves memories, but don't want to keep reliving it. My whole body feels tense as I wake up fighting and soaked in sweat. Can't take sleeping tablets to stop me dreaming as am on my own with the kids. I'm also scared they'd lock me into the nightmares at the moment.

They've bought 10 charges against him, 8 of indecent assault spanning from the ages of 6-13, and 2 charges of rape spanning 1988-1989 and 1989-1990. It's done over time periods, rather than specific incidents. It's going to Crown Court. I won't have a date for the case for another 2-3 months.

They've bought 10 charges against him, 8 of indecent assault spanning from the ages of 6-13, and 2 charges of rape spanning 1988-1989 and 1989-1990. It's done over time periods, rather than specific incidents. It's going to Crown Court. I won't have a date for the case for another 2-3 months.

Forgotten meds again for a couple of days, and a black cloud's hit me hard. I'm glad Si's home tonight, even though I don't think I'm going to be great company. It's been really hard work with the kids today, and even harder to get myself motivated. Been swimming this afternoon but hated it. Kids had a good time at least.

Forgotten meds again for a couple of days, and a black cloud's hit me hard. I'm glad Si's home tonight, even though I don't think I'm going to be great company. It's been really hard work with the kids today, and even harder to get myself motivated. Been swimming this afternoon but hated it. Kids had a good time at least.

Not looking forward to sleep tonight. I'm having bad dreams about him. Can't talk details as it involves memories, but don't want to keep reliving it. My whole body feels tense as I wake up fighting and soaked in sweat. Can't take sleeping tablets to stop me dreaming as am on my own with the kids. I'm also scared they'd lock me into the nightmares at the moment.