An couple of interesting FF quotes have made me think -

"But you can't keep dividing his good side from his violent side.  He is one person, isn't he?" and "For your health, you need to work on viewing him as one person.  There's no James that's all good.  That James doesn't exist.  He's not real.  You need to move forward from him, leave him behind."

Also, "There are some rapists who, through distorted thought, believe the woman could enjoy it."

Finally, "It wouldn't be out of the question to suggest that you've been grieving.  Grieving for the James that you remembered and cared for, because he's gone and he's never coming back.  Denial, anger, depression: they're all part of the grieving process. Being honest with your thoughts will help you come to terms, come into acceptance.  And that is okay."

I can't go into reasons now, but will later...