So, talking to my DID email group... They think the alter who came out at counselling last week was male and maybe a teenager. I'm left wondering if it's the 'bad' one they were trying to hide before? I'm not sure though.

I have counselling again tomorrow, so I'll see where the conversation goes.

I know she wants to talk about my 0-5 upbringing to try to help me realise how vulnerable I was, and I guess to try to help me understand how he was able to start abusing me, and how much of an easy target I was. The whole idea's a bit scary to be honest as I've coped this far thinking this way and to change all that is difficult and I worry it's not possible and for me to stay sane at the same time!

Oya says we'll do it in small steps but it's still scary and life changing - for both me and my littles.