I forgot a couple of things.  Firstly, he asked me if it was part, or the whole, of me that felt I was betraying my grandad by speaking out.  He commented that it was a childlike view to hold.  We spoke about anger - Andy commented that through everything we'd discussed, I hadn't mentioned feeling angry towards my abuser, or for what he did.  I don't.  I still feel he didn't mean it.  Thinking about it though, anger scares me.  I don't like anger.  I worry about anger not being controlled.  Maybe that's something to do with it.