Thursday, 6 March 2014

Thoughts/feelings/questions since the Court Case...

Don't like the fact he's facing a custodial sentence
  • broken promises
  • he might get hurt
  • people might think badly of him
  • does he hate me?
  • what he did was wrong (need to try to work through this)

He lied to me
  • did he love me?
  • it wasn't ok
  • he shouldn't have told me I had to "stand in"
  • did I enjoy it?

He knew what he was doing was wrong
  • he needs to take the blame
  • it wasn't my fault
  • he lied to me
  • the Jury could see this, so could the police
  • it should never had happened
  • I should  have had a normal, innocent relationship
  • I shouldn't have learned about sex that way 

He's a child abuser
  • potential to re-offend
  • a bad person?  predator?  (hard to think about)
  • glad it was only me
  • I wasn't special, just an easy target

Did I enjoy it?
  • it wasn't ok, it was wrong
  • feel bad that it was pleasurable sometimes (a natural response to what was happening to my body, but shouldn't have been happening to it)
  • not fair that rape was my sex ed
  • I hate that he was my first everything (kiss/touch/virginity)

Sense of accomplishment
  • I got through it
  • I've protected other children
  • made sure the cycle has stopped
  • I did it - I was the only witness to come forward, and my evidence was enough

Broken promises
  • does he hate me?
  • should I have said anything?
  • loyalty to me/him?
  • need to remember promises were broken on both sides
  • promises were inappropriate/shouldn't have been necessary

No other memories of childhood except the abuse
  • feels like he's stolen it away
  • worried I'll never remember the nice things

Inner child issues
  • feel torn
  • sometimes feel I'm 9/10/11 and don't understand what's happening/want it to stop but don't want to upset him
  • the little girl feels sad, lost and scared

Overwhelming
  • where to start?
  • what's important?
  • am I over-reacting?
  • will it ever go away?
  • will I be normal?
  • will it get worse again?
  • fear of flashbacks/nightmares

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