Today, sat in the sun at Bedgebury, things are looking somewhat brighter.  The kids are playing in the park as I write this, and it's lovely being sat out in the sunshine. 

I had a surprise phone call last night from my Auntie Mandy - she's my step-dad's sister-in-law.  My grandad tried to rape her one evening, but my nan walked in and interrupted him.  As a result, they've distanced themselves from the family and now live in Canada.  She was full of congratulations for getting through the court case, and saying how she hopes he now rots in jail for what he did to us.  In some ways, I'm angry at her for not coming forward during the police investigation as it would have strengthened my case.  I can't keep thinking of the 'what if's' and maybe's' though - things are as they are. 

During the conversation, it came out that despite making attempts during the trial to patch things up with me, my step-dad has been over my grandad's house every day since the trial "calming them down" and "helping them sort things out".  That's made my heart sink to be honest.  I spoke to my mum about it and she think he'll be just being there for my nan (his mum), and that doesn't mean he's on his side.  I'm  not sure what to think/feel/believe.  It makes me feel even more guilty for the course of action I've taken.  It makes me worry about what the custodial sentence he's facing will do to my nan.  She's never been without him, and she's been so far in denial about his behaviour that she believes I was "temptation in his way".  Also though, I was hoping my step-dad would uphold the fact he says he believes me and that he's on my side - how can he be if he's supporting them daily, and I haven't heard a word?