Sentencing

So, on Thursday was sentencing day for my abuser following him being charged with multiple counts at the trial in March.

After an intense counselling session the day before, I decided to go, but only if my husband could come as I knew he would be my protector - throughout this whole police investigation process, we've become ever closer, and now I know he can wrap me in his arms and I'm safe from everything. In our discussion, it came out that perhaps seeing him again in that environment would help me realise that it's not my fault, and that he cant hurt me anymore. After all, if I was to blame for what happened, I'd be the one on the stand, not him.

So, after some frantic phone calls to arrange child care and time off work for both Si and myself, it was all sorted.

Sleep that night was fitful, but I did at least get some sleep, and we got up at 5am to leave at 6am to get there on time.

Well, traffic on route was awful, and what should have been a 2 hour journey ended up taking nearly double. We made it with just 10 mins to spare.

Through court security, and I was then massively relieved to see my mum and Trish (the lead officer) waiting for me. Lots of hugs were had, and then talks about my Victim Impact Statement and what to expect in Court. 

It turned out that although my VIS was over 3 pages, they didnt want to cut it down as it was one of the best VIS's they'd seen. Apparently, it was descriptive and hard hitting, describing the massive impact he'd had. They concentrated on the fact he'd left me with such skewed beliefs of love, trust and sense of self. The summing up by my barrister and the judge's comments were amazing. It felt like finally someone realised the massive scale of what damage this man and what he did to me has done. It spoke of what I've been left to deal with, and the fact that some of this legacy may never go away.

I did look at him a few times. He's now 72, and he looks it. He sat behind that glass with his arms folded, and showed no emotion or remorse as anyone was talking.

Si tells me he thinks the judge let his feelings be known when he practically growled at him to "get up" before he gave his sentence.

Things were a little complicated as the law changed in 2003 around child abuse charges, and related sentences, so the judge had to consider both the laws from the 1956 act, and what came into force in 2003.

The judge said he had taken both acts into account, his age, and his "good character". He got different sentences for each charge, but they're to run concurrently (at the same time). He got 14 years for multiple rape of a child under the age of 13. The way things work, he'll serve 7. After that though, a Sexual Offenders Protection Order comes in, which states he can't have contact with girls under the age of 16 for 10 years. After that, he's still on the Sex Offenders Register for life.

I still feel bad about the jail time, but try to tell myself that I didn't put him there... It wasn't my decision.

The SOPO is amazing, and I didn't know they existed. I wish it covered both boys and girls, but I guess you can't have everything.

So, for 7 years he won't have access to kids, then for another 10 years he can't see girls, and by then he'll be 89. He can't hurt anyone else now. I did it. I'm keeping everyone safe. He can't hide behind a normal life now. Everyone will know what he is, and what he's capable of.

I woke up this morning thinking about him alone in his cell, and nearly cried. I know I've got work go do and issues go sort out, but my counsellor will help with that.

Baby steps now, but it feels like the beginning of the end.