I thought I'd try to write a little more from the point of view of these little voices inside me.

There's more than one of them - so far, we found a 13 year old, an 11 year old, a 9 year old and a 7 year old.

The 13 year old is angry at me, and is upset at the situation she's in. She's confused as th abuse has stopped, and she's recently found out that a relationship she enjoyed between her and her grandad involved more than it should.  She doesn't understand why he did those things to her, and she's scared of hurting her grandad, or splitting up the family, and of him going to prison.  She's angry at me for breaking my promises to him, and speaking out, sending him to prison, and breaking up the family.  At the last counselling session, we tried the adult me talking to her to try to explain why I had to speak out, and that made her confused and sad, but she's angry again now.

The 11 year old has just started her periods, and is worried about being abused while on her period, and of the problems that may cause.  She finds the whole thing a bit embarrassing, but doesn't want to have to stop him touching her as that's what he wants.

The 9 year old knows that the abuse hurts sometimes, and she tells grandad when it hurts, but this doesn't stop him. Grandad tells her that she loves him, and he licensed, which is why he does the thing a he does, and she doesn't want to stop that.  She doesn't like the pain though, and now he hurts her more often than not. Sometimes she bleeds after, and that was scary the first few times, especially as she dealt with it by herself.

The 7 year old wants to be loved, and is ecstatic about having a new grandad in her life. She's a bit taken aback with the extra attention, but doesn't think to question it. She's the one who's currently hiding in the rabbit hutch in my recent dream... She feels safe there, and will fight and bite and scream to be left there as she doesn't want to come out.