Feeling unsettled today.  It was the adoption celebration for Dylan at the Court, which means a year old process is at it's end, and my horrid ex is definitely out of our lives for good.  It's a real relief, and such a weight off.  We've bought Dylan a neck-chain as a memorial of the day, and we went out for lunch at Frankie & Benny's (his choice).

On the way back home (we had to pop home to grab the kids' school reports before F&Bs), we started talking about our recent ponderings about getting a loft conversion...  and it boils down to the fact that Si's saying we can't afford to do both the loft conversion, and the holiday to Disneyland I was planning with half of the compensation money I got from the Courts.  This has riled me a bit because I gave him the £20k to put in the savings with a view to use half of it for Disney, and now he's saying there has to be a big discussion about deciding what to do with it.  I'm cross, because that money's supposed to be to make good memories with, not to put all of it towards a stupid loft conversion.  If it wasn't for what I went through, we wouldn't have that money, so I kind of feel I should be able to have a large say over what to do with it.  He's basically saying we shouldn't have 'my money' and 'his money', and I do agree about that, but can't help feeling it's a bit different with this compensation money...  and it's not like I want to put ALL of it towards a holiday, but half...  the other half can fund probably 1/3 of the loft conversion - I don't care about that, but I'd like to fund a holiday to Disneyland for the family with the other £10k of it.  Am I being selfish?  I don't know, but it's upset me...

It's put a bit of a shadow on the day to be honest.

And now, it's 2.50pm and we're home, and I'm stuck as to what to do.  I feel like being crafty - like colouring, or loom bands...  I feel the little voice (not sure which one though - maybe the 13 year old, Titch?) needing to be soothed by it as she doesn't like the adult me feeling like this.  She wants to smooth everything over, and not cause a fuss.