I still seem to be calmer, although things feel like they're bubbling under the surface.  Not using the diazepam to sleep anymore, and no more night wakings, so that's something.

I think the Rolf Harris stuff is triggering me as he's obviously a nasty man, and has deserved to go to jail...  but going down that line of thinking makes it harder and harder not to apply that knowledge and thinking to my grandad's situation too, and that's difficult.

Something my GP said has stuck with me - she said that I must be feeling a little disappointed that everything's not 'over' now, and she's right...  I'm not stupid, I knew some residual stuff would need putting to bed, but I honestly didn't think I'd have more panic attacks, or even more stuff pouring out needing to be dealt with.

Part of me wants to write him another letter, but I'm not sure what to say.  I guess it wouldn't really matter as it wouldn't be posted anyway...  food for thought.