So...  very positive counselling session today.

We made some plans about me moving over to a new counsellor.  She took down my availability, and assured me that I can stay in the room I'm currently in (the blue room).  We're also looking at me taking the summer holidays off, and restarting in September - which will be easier for childcare purposes.  I feel a bit more in control.

We spoke today about the fact I feel it may have been the 13 year old present last week, rather than my adult self being totally in control.  The abandonment issues would have been worse for her when the abuse stopped, and we think it maybe triggered something for her, and so the panic and upset were for her to get her feelings known - something that's never happened before.

I don't think I put it on here before, but a couple of the little voices now have names - the 9 year old's called Clairabelle (which is a nickname my sister used to call me, well, actually, she still does), and the 13 year old's called Titch (which is a nickname given to me by my oldest friend from secondary school).

We spoke more about a DID diagnosis, and she says it seems to fit, but we spoke positively about not being medicated for it, or it changing anything at all from my life at present as the little voices are there, they have been for ages, and I'm living life normally...  I'm bringing up children, working, running Cubs, etc. I did point out though, that it might be easier when explaining to others about the voices...  not that I'm planning to go shouting it from the rooftops, but I may tell a couple of close friends, and Vicky (my sister).

I found

http://www.pods-online.org.uk/whatisdid.pdf and
http://www.pods-online.org.uk/signsandsymptomsofdid.pdf

useful about DID.